The Perplexionist: A Voice

Parenthood , a role I have yet gotten but curious to investigate. I have conceptual images of how parent should be but no life experiences yet. I don’t think the lack of real experience could discredit me from understanding what it takes to be a parent. Many parents I have come across didn’t wait a minute longer than need to tell me all about their parenthood. They talk with passionate love/hate of their children and some of them talk as if they know what it all means to parents. Do they really understanding the full range of responsibilities and meanings of parenthood? I doubt it. Parental experiences are of course important but that alone won’t account for being a good parent. Theoretical knowledge on the other hand could serve as usual instruments to parental empowerment. In order to be a good parents, one should consider acquiring both realms of knowledge in equal measures.

What are the prequisitions in deciding when a child should be born? Personally, I would only bring a child in this would when I am sure that I am ready to be a parent. There are several indications to signal when I am ready. First, I must be financially independent. I would be able to provide myself with the basic needs and that of the child’s. I would have extras for other stuffs as need and do not have to live paycheck by paycheck. Second, I would be emotionally ready to handle the present of a child and the responsibilities of being a parent. Third, I am ready to put the child as first priority. It means that the child will be a big part of my life and I am ready to give my unconditional love and self. I will then devote extra amount time and effort to ensure that the child will be happy and loved.

It seems like a terrible idea to be a trial and error sort of parent. I understand one learns along the way. However, are there room for mistakes? Yes, one can raise the first kid and learn through experiences. By doing so, the second child would be easier to manage since experiences has been acquired through the first child. It might seem reasonable but it is fair to the first child. Being the first child doesn’t default him as an experimenting subject. He deserves as much love, devote, and care as the second child. This might end up being the case even if parents aren’t intentional make it so. However, I do think parents should not gamble with unnecessary risks for the sake of learning about parenting.

Practical knowledge might not be required for one to be parents but theoretical knowledge should. I strongly believe in parental education. It is essential for anyone wanting to be a parent to enroll himself/herself in parental courses. Understandably, the courses will not teach future parents the nuts and bolts of parenting. They could however serve as a breeding ground for knowledge and an encouraging point for future parents to further seek knowledge and education to be better parents. The theoretical knowledge is a great accompanist to practical knowledge. It will create a more colorful and enhanced experiences of parenthood. It will serve as a tool for parents to minimize feeling helpless and vulnerable. It will also serve as a starting point for those who are uncertain where they should begin.

Calling parenting a job would undermine its important. It is definitely more than a job. I can quit a job and start another one to fulfill my personal and professional satisfaction. I, however, can’t quit my kid and have another one because I am unhappy with the first one. It doesn’t work that way. A child is a child. Doesn’t matter how he disappoints me, he is still my kid. Even if he turns out to be a serious killer, I would love him regardless. I might not support his actions or agree with his moral judgments. I might even turn him in to the police and yet he is still my child. Also, equating parenting with a job seems to devalue the role of parenting. A kid is a living human being whose well being and future are governed and influenced by the parents. A parent is a child’s first role model. Regardless of how much you want to discard it, you can but to accept that it has at least some truth.

I consider parenthood to be the greatest role that I or anyone could ever experience. Kudos to all parents out there who devote themselves and their love to their kids and also to those that make an effort to try.

I hope to use this blog as a sanctuary for my ever so perplexing thoughts to roam and explore freely. I also hope to exercise and shape my writing skill and gain more knowledge of my self and the world around me. The idea is rather simple but it has proven to be quite difficult on two counts. First with the subject matter, I don’t claim expertise in any subject and so I basically write as a generalist. With a blog that circle around one’s daily life, it would not be so hard to come up with posts since there are plenty of things going on. However, when one is trying to exam an issue thoroughly, it could be quite difficult and time consuming. It is easy to write with preexistence knowledge of a subject but difficult to write on something foreign.

I would categorize myself as a fairly intelligent person. I am told that I have wit and some smartness. I learn things quite quickly and understand matter quite easier and quicker than most. I wouldn’t go as far as calling myself an intellectual. I have no taken any sort measurement of intelligent quotient was not measured under objective means. I am, of course, curious as to how I would score against those tests. I have no idea how I would inquire about those tests. I don’t much care for it in a way. I have argued about the validity and objectively of IQ assessments on multiple occasions but I have yet taken one. I guess my doubts in the tests discourage me to even wanting to take the tests myself.

I am dealing with The quantity and quality conundrum. The blogger in me wants to have something posts on a weekly basic but the individual in me wants to have quality posts. It is quite hard to deliver when one is constricted in a limited parameters. I guess a great compromise would be to delivery quality posts as much as possible. Of course, in this case, the individual wins. However, it also lost in term of not being able to produce any posts because the demand of quality is too rigid. I will test the water to see which method would be more preferable. Perhaps, a middle ground can be reached.

One might argues that finding something to write is not all that difficult. I agree. When I contemplate about topics I want to meditate, there would be an extensive list. However, the actual writings and careful exploration of the topic is rather time consuming and exhaustive for this blogger’s mind. Like many, I love to entertain ideas in my head but writing it down musters much energy. I do well in term of thinking about thing in small quality and examining it through quick consideration. When require to sit and contemplate on a issue via writing, I found myself in deadlock and perplexed most of the time with my thoughts. They seem to muddle and run on tangents and my tendency to digress become unavoidable.

I hope this blog will serve as a place for me to build a strong foundation of knowledge in various subjects and also serve as a place for me to find my voice.

I was incredulous at first when I saw the headline (If Your Neighbor Poses as Your Husband, Is it Rape?). After having listened to a news report on NPR.org regarding possibly a new category of rape crime, I now understand. Advocates seek to push “rape by fraud” to be included in the current categorization of rape crime in Massachusetts. The nature of rape itself is horrific. A rapist seeks to fulfill his sexual desire and fantasy by forcing victims into degrading and violent sexual act intended to cause them physical and emotional harm. The previous statement reflected my general understanding of rape up until now. I learned after the report that rape could be consensual and nonviolent. On one hand, I agree that being tricked into having consensual sex as described in the report should be categorized as rape. On the other hand, I can see the danger in expanding the categorization. It could be abused and complicated if the definition of rape becomes blurred as more cases are being taken to court. I hope the victims in the aforementioned report will get some justice. There is no doubt that the current laws need to be changed. I hope they will. Please follow the link below for the full report.

“If Your Neighbor Poses as Your Husband, Is it Rape?”
Day to Day (NPR.org), May 5, 2008

“Massachusetts is the latest state to consider putting a new crime on the books: rape by fraud. Currently, a sex act only qualifies as rape if physical force is used. We talk to a woman who was tricked into having sex with her boyfriend’s brother, who pretended to be her boyfriend — and unable to convict him of rape because of this limited definition.”

Krugman argued that the Democrats are putting themselves under a state of self inflicted confusion. I think he might be right. Unless this gets solved as he suggested, the next President of the US might not be a Democrat. (Click the title to read the article)

Self-Inflicted Confusion
by Paul Krugman
published: April 25, 2008
“Maybe Barack Obama’s transformational campaign isn’t winning over working-class voters because transformation isn’t what they’re looking for.”

I read the headline and wonder what the heck it is trying to convey. Needless to say, it catches my attention and I proceed to read the story. it is interesting indeed to learn that methods that had been using for decades to education students now has found to be questionable. I can’t help but wonder why now? I have my doubt in current methods use in the teaching math. My personal experience wasn’t too pleasant and I agree with the method provided by the study. I have no knowledge of whether previous studies have been done on the same topic. However, I am left thinking that the effective method of teaching math suggested by the study was used by countries with students that scored higher on global test of math skill. Anyhow, click on the title to read the article in question:

Study Suggests Math Teachers Scrap Balls and Slices
by Kenneth Chang
published: April 25, 2008
“The real-world examples incorporated more and more by educators in recent years can impede math learning, an experiment found.”